i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize