So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
