i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Randomize
