Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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