...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
