I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
