I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
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