Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
