Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
