she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I FOUND THE LEGS
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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