i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
he was CRYING into my vagina
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Randomize
