Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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