so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
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