i think i have herpe
just one?
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
i need some magic done to my vagina
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize