matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
