Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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