He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Randomize
