Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
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