holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
