sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
