i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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