Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
