Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
