Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I touched a dick in church today
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Randomize
