i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Threesome in a minivan. New low
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
