you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
When are your genitals available?
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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