He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Alive.
So much puke
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
you never un-have a 4some
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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