so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
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