there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Randomize
