i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
