I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
