you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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