I swear she didn't look like that last week.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
