Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Randomize
