Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Randomize
