they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
