Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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