Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
