I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Never underestimate the power of titties
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
