Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
My life is pants optional.
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