just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Holy shit dude........stairs
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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