how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
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