You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Randomize
