He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I just cut my nipple shaving
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize