Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
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