Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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