Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Randomize
