Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
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