I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
