dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
