sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
He kissed a someone with a penis
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Randomize
