I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
