I'm really into asian looking animals
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
