He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize