I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
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