yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
