We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
