why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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