I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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