It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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