when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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