hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
