If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
