Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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