I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize