think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
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