super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
