If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
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