He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
