you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
