maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
