Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
