...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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